Build Confidence in our Children through Guidance in addition to the Outside Influences.

confidence 1 How many people known to be pillars of your community, actually possess the human qualities of humility, kindness, generosity and are always there for others? How many people do you know in your community limelight, who are all about themselves; always seeking attention in one way or another, never seen actually helping others unless publicity involved, obsessed with looking good and having the best? Both personality types would appear to portray confidence, but which one would you actually believe in your heart, to be an example of one you would want your children to emulate their lives after?

These personality types are evident in people we share various types of relationships with, throughout our lives. Beginning in elementary school, there are children already possessing either/or aforementioned human qualities/personality types, but with children not possessing the acquired life tools to measure with, the qualities or personalities chosen by most are typically those considered to be ‘what’s popular.’ We all know that what’s popular isn’t always the best choice, yet when we consider the influences surrounding our young children, such as that provided by the media/consumerism/music/hollywood, as examples, it’s no surprise as to the thinking behind the selection of  their friends or what they want to emulate.

People of all cultures are influenced by what’s around them; whether good or bad. The influences are blatantly out there and as to what is filtered from us as young children, depends on the choices and guidance of our parents. Some children don’t have that guidance, for whatever the reason and as a consequence, tend to mirror their thinking/opinions secondary to their outside influences. This is where we as parents, drop the ball and in my opinion, the long-term effects of letting this happen are nothing but negative. Children shouldn’t be exposed to regular cultural stimuli that requires thinking beyond their capabilities to decipher. What kind of stable core values would you truthfully expect them to learn from growing up in this type of environment?

Confidence in our children should be built on the best qualities we as parents possess and can teach. It’s also about surrounding our children with individuals possessing qualities we admire and want our children to mirror. This is the responsibility we as parents took on when choosing to bring a child into this world. There are no exceptions and no going back as you don’t want to send your children into the world lost, confused and unable to discern between truths and untruths. Children are like sponges and this is the most critical time to model the type of person they will become and the life they will choose.

We can possess the best intentions or plans for our children’s development and let’s be truthful, it’s not easy. There can and will be forces beyond our control that can work against our efforts. Regardless, we have to be persistent and continue guiding our children. Only with time and through hard work, will we as parents witness our children develop a sense of who they are, as well as see and hear them feel good about themselves and the choices they make. A true sense of self and confidence must come from within and not based on merely external influences but a cross-section of life with guidance and love. It is a parents’ long term goal but one that is most rewarding, especially when knowing that our children will possess the all important basic values and confidence to help them lead a good life.

It is a given that children will test their parents in many ways, but remember, if they didn’t, they would not be normal. Besides, did we not test our own? Our job is to remember that we are their parent and guidance counselor. We need to let them branch out, question and challenge us. We need not be threatened but rather, honest and forthright in our answers and not be afraid to re-evaluate situations and consequences for, as they grow and develop. If we are persistent and ever-truthful in our parenting endeavors, we will prevail in seeing our children through to being confident adults based on who they are rather than what they are.







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