Teach Children Logic Through Use of Consequences

consequences for choice  Why make parenting any harder than it actually is? As with anything, the simpler the better, especially in dealing with our children. Don’t make your rules/parameters so complicated that they want to hire a lawyer to teach them their rights. Treat your children as you would want to be treated at their age–with dignity and respect.

Many of us have been through the child-bearing/rearing years already and many of you still have that to look forward to. Words of advice is to be honest with yourselves and get all your selfishness out. Once you reach that point you will most likely be ready to be a good parent. Just realize that once you have children, you will be personally obligated/committed to that role until you die. It is, hands down, the hardest yet most fulfilling job you will ever have.

The weight you feel from the moment your first child is born is enormous, just knowing that little being will be largely molded into whom they will become, by what you say and do. I personally feel that how a child turns out is secondary to the efforts put out by his or her parents. We will reap what we sow. Raising a child is a lifetime project that we parents are totally responsible for.

Children do best when communicating in concrete terms, not abstract. They can easily relate to yes or no. With this in mind, the application of consequences is a logical step in their thought process  towards choices. We have to clearly communicate the end goal, no matter the child’s age, along with the freedom for them to choose how to get there; ie. involving a child in the decision to change their bedroom from infant decor to preschool age decor and that in order to do so, they will be required to keep their toys picked up and room clean. The key is to consistently make sure this is done or to call them on the carpet when it isn’t. Sometimes, this also requires the parents to work along side of their children in helping them achieve the required end goal. Eventually the constant parental effort will be rewarded, as the child will use his or her own logic to realize there are consequences attached to choices.

Being the parent and carrying out the consequences, is also where a lot of parents slip up. Rules are typically established and understood, as well as the consequences attached, yet when its time to carry out anything unfavorable or unpopular, the ball is dropped. Gee, who is the parent then? What does this teach our kids other than mom and/or dad are push-overs and I can get away with whatever I want. Once children realize that consequences are merely something dad and mom say in terms only,  a phenomenal tool to help them use logic has been lost. Without consequences, choices then become mindless actions.

We, as parents, MUST take the time to teach our kids and not rely on others to do this for us. It’s not like we’re so busy in our self-made, hyper drive lives, that we just don’t have the time, but rather that we don’t know where or how to start, or even realize that we personally, have to put out the effort. If we want to see our children succeed and grow into young men and women of quality, it takes our effort from day one. No parent on this planet has it easy and if you think that, all I can say is that you haven’t worn enough shoes before offering an opinion.

There are many choices we have to make in regards to how we raise our children and yes, there are consequences attached. Like with anything, garbage in-garbage out or quality in-quality out. It’s about choices made through the use of logic, with attached consequences for both the children as well as for us, the parents. If it were up to me, I’d choose that every child has a parent who strives for the “A” or “Excellence” as the consequence for their efforts in the raising of their  children.

Comments

  1. there are no guidelines to being a good parent i have found that any mistakes you think you have made with the first you tend to try and correct them with the second after all as the child grows you grow as a parent(or should do) i followed the to get you have to give path which worked well never spoke down to them do that and you have created your first of many barriers never forget children are little people and if they see a weak link (mummy gives but daddy won’t) they will quickly exploit it for there own ends as they reach there teens and are flexing there adolesent muscles you must show a united mum and dad front this may sound a strange statement but i used to say to mine if you want to rule the roost get your own this roost is mine(you will find this situation arises between father and son mostly) it is natural for sons to challenge the father and can be a difficult time for all the lion and the cubs syndrome the most important part for any family to survive is the ability to talk to each other without feeling embarrassed or awkward on any level or subject achieve this and you will have a strong family bond that will carry on to all your future generations

  2. I agree with Belle that Clifford is a wise man! Communication is key beginning from the very beginning with the wee ones on all subjects. Communication in regard to consequences is huge. All parties should understand ahead of time (when poss) the consequences for poor choice. Follow through, follow through, follow through. Very important for parents whether together or separate to stand united for the children’s bennifit. Undermining is bad news for everyone. Also, parents should not criticize the other parent to the child (any age) as it only hurts the child.

Speak Your Mind

*